Teens With Eating Disorders - Getting Them to Talk About It

You suspect your teen has an eating disorder and you want to talk to them about it. How do you go about that when you can't get them to talk to you?

First of all, you need to know that people with eating disorders tend to use their disorder behaviors to hide from themselves, their thoughts, and their feelings. One of the problems is that they don't know how to express themselves, they don't know how to talk about what they feel inside. And if your child is a teen, it's even harder at that age because of all of the changes they are going through physically and mentally.

Even when parents ask the right questions, teens often still don't know how to put their thoughts and feelings into words that they think you will understand.

Think about it. As a teen, you have a hard time getting them to open up and talk to you. Now factor in that they have an eating disorder and it's really going to be hard to crack them open and talk.

Here are a few tips for getting them to open up with you and really discussing their feelings.

Conversations need to be short, simple, and to the point.

As parents, we tend to barrage our kids with questions one after another. Sometimes we don't even give them a chance to start answering one question before we are asking another. Is this you?

We talk and we talk to fill up the silence because the kids just look at us with a blank look, right?

Hint, hint! That blank look is a clue for parents to slow down the run of words, take a deep breath, and instead of the words running on and on, just ask a simple question and wait for an answer.

Don't fill in the silence for them and try to look encouraging and open minded.

Remember, just as you are watching for face and body clues from them to figure out what to say, they are doing the same to you! If you have your arms crossed in front of your chest or you're tapping your toes or your jaw is set, they really aren't going to want to talk to you right then and there. Your body language is telling them that you are not going to be sympathetic or understanding.

Be aware of your body language and keep the questions to a minimum. Ask your question and wait for an answer. Be receptive and encouraging instead of judgmental or close minded. What your teen sees in your body language will go a long way towards them wanting to share their feelings with you.

As a recovered teen bulimic, I remember how hard it was to talk to an adult at that time about my problems, so I can certainly empathize with teens who are having issues and have a hard time talking about them.

By Michelle Lacroix Toro